GANGLING BRUMMIE rhyming raconteur turned Sun-bashing satire-peddling small screen chieftain JASPER “BOB DAVIES” CARROTT first cleared his throat as far as most of the country was concerned with ‘Funky Moped’ in 1975. Then it was but a deft flick of a newspaper cutting before televised concerts and one-off specials, characterised by the likes of The Nutter on the Bus, I’ve Got This Mole, Australian Durex (“I’d like to see his Christmas presents!”) and The Hangman Song, led to Carrott del Sol: a bizarre semi-improvised tale of package holiday hi-jinks co-starring Davros and Mr C off Hollyoaks. More substantial was …LIB, where, now comfortably settled on the Beeb, Jasp delivered topical material atop a chrome stool, while a loose rep of supporting players (including NICK WILTON, THE OBLIVION BOYS and DEBBIE “LES GIRLS” BISHOP) acted out sketches and stood in a line delivering headline-based gags to camera in a section at the beginning which never really worked. Regular whipping boys included Milton Keynes, The Sun, the Ronco corporation, “pseudo-intellectuals” in corduroy trousers, and, of course, the Reliant Robin. A long-running quest to find something bitingly satirical to say about John Selwyn Gummer came up with the line “John Selwyn Gummer… is a bummer!” Then after further gigging came …CONFIDENTIAL, much the same format but with two main differences: the opening credits consisted of Jasper walking through the corridors of TV Centre to his stool, bypassing various sight gags relating to the week’s news, while an old Status Quo record played in the background (weirdly, top pop Tory ELO’s Bev Bevan was “music consultant” on the show). There was also a parody of a current advert, usually consisting of the original ad with “hilarious” footage of Carrott edited in. In 1990 the show morphed into the less than sparkling Canned Carrott, with Punt and Dennis and iffy Sweeney parody The Detectives with Robert Powell. Jasp’s bit on the side, Celador, then hit the big time with Who Wants to be a Millionaire and he unsurprisingly buggered off into semi-retirement. Continued to essay forth, always unwisely, in everything from dire ad-based clip shows to “handicap friendly” sitcoms.Read More
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We wish someone would put on the internet the brilliant interview with Stock Aitken and Waterman from Smash Hits in 1990 where they were asked if they were going down the dumper and they bitched about some of the less successful artists they’d worked with like Kakko (“she simply couldn’t sing the songs we gave her”) and Yell (“they did themselves so much damage in interviews they could never have another hit”). We think the biggest problem with the trio was that for every great record they did, and they did do plenty of great records (we’d cite Happening All Over Again, Love In The First Degree, Better The Devil You Know, When You Come Back To Me and You Spin Me Round as our top five), there were about half a dozen crap ones because they spread themselves a bit thinly. Regardless, Sir Pete is still, rightly, very proud of their legacy, as he will debate here alongside Sinitta, Jase and regular Hit Factory collaborator Phil Harding.
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