THE WORLD CUP is finally upon us, so to celebrate, it’s back to the summer of 1982 for a glimpse of some old school ITV coverage.
Jeff Wayne’s synthtastic anthem Matador opens proceedings, before BRIAN MOORE introduces a look at ‘one or two of the lighter moments of the tournament’, including cameo appearances from ERIC MORECAMBE (“Just one Cornetto!”) and MIKE YARWOOD (shamelessly essaying a Lopez Ufarte “joke” in the guise of Brian Clough), an interview with Northern Ireland’s mascot ‘Yer Man’ by a tyro EAMONN HOLMES who, frankly, looks like he might be late for his paper round, and an undercover BBC raid on the ITV camp from messrs HILL and McMENEMY.
“IT’S A FUNNY old game,” vouchsafed JIMMY GREAVES practically every week on this Saturday lunchtime soccer drone-fest, co-hosted by perpetually corpsing rug-wearer IAN ST JOHN. The “other” joke in Greavsie’s repertoire related to the shortcomings of goalkeepers from “chilly Jocko land”. But worse was to come for Jimmy post “split”: a lame early evening chat show, set in studio recreation of Greavsie’s kitchen, a la Alan Partridge Christmas Special. “If you wanna larf, call at Greavsie’s garf,” advised sub-Chas’n'Dave theme tune, as the once-respected footballer strolled around a market in credits to denote much-vaunted “down to earth” credentials, before indulging in Rotary Club-type breakfast bar chat with the likes of TARBY, LYNCHY et al.