NEAR-PROTOTYPE FOR the soon-to-follow HOWARD’S WAY, in that both featured a craggy outdoors type with limited social skills struggling to turn their hobby into a viable business proposition as well as coping with love interest JAN HARVEY. In this one she was a doctor nursing injured rock climber DAVID HAYMAN who wanted to run Outward Bound courses for business executives. NEIL PHILLIPS was the villain trying to thwart him for some reason that now escapes us. The word boring doesn’t.
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Falcon Crest
PREPOSTEROUS VINEYARD vagaries courtesy of shameless DALLAS rip off relocated to Napa, er, Tuscany Valley. Seemed to be on every afternoon on ITV for a period in the mid 80s. Horrible theme and horrible titles (helicoptered aerial antics above acres of boring wine plants). About a thousand people in the cast. LANA TURNER showed up at one point. Requisite posh Brit for Yank women to eye up: SIMON MCCORKINDALE.
Read MoreDynasty
SOUTHFORK MAY have been Wogan’s favourite Wednesday night residence, but this was his Friday evening fancy and no mistake. JOHN FORSYTHE and LINDA EVANS were Blake and Krystal Carrington, though the central character was of course JOAN COLLINS pouring champagne over her suspenders in the Dallas-esque titles. Also featured Carrington daughter Fallon played initially by PAMELA SUE MARTIN later replaced by EMMA SAMS. Drossometer readings went off the scale on several occasions, particularly at the wedding of the Prince of Moldova (MICHAEL “ROBIN OF SHERWOOD” PRAED, no less) at a European chateau, at which every cast member was massacred, only for them to all get up again and carry on drossing at the start of the next series. DYNASTY II: THE COLBYS continued the pain ending in desperate UFO abduction.
Read MoreDallas
SHEPHERD’S BUSH THEATRE, Wednesday night, the 1980s. Wogan is sat on a sofa. Behind him is a big screen. “Now, steady on!” he booms to the nation. “Fix your hats and saddle your horses! It’s that time at last! Join me as we set a course westward ho! Oh yes! It’s…DALLAS!” In brief, “A rich Texan family faces all kinds of trouble.” In full, the brainchild of DAVID JACOBS (not the Radio 2 one, sadly). LARRY HAGMAN (JR), KEN KERCHEVAL (Cliff Barnes), BARBARA BEL GEDDES (Miss Ellie), VICTORIA PRINCIPAL (Pam), CHARLENE TILTON (Lucy), PATRICK DUFFY (Bobby), HOWARD KEEL (Clayton Farlow), LINDA GRAY (Sue Ellen) got burned into the global consciousness via much-parodied three-way split screen grinning intro. JR and Sue Ellen, Bobby and Pam, Lucy and Mitch, Jock and Miss Ellie – sexual tension was everywhere, culminating in top oversold JR shooting and “eagerly awaited” revelation of identity of almost-killer at start of the following season. Gave Tel years worth of material (“Why only one phone?! Wardrobes the size of garages I tell yer!”) Tanked with unpopular death of Bobby, and subsequent revelation of him alive, well, and showering: intervening season had all been one of crazy Pamela’s dreams. Various characters emigrated north to KNOTS LANDING. Reunion “specials” more frequent than Bush family presidencies.
Creamguide's Pick of the Day
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Wrestling’s Golden Age – Grapples, Grunts and Grannies
Sunday, 22.05, BBC4Mick McManus died this week, alas, and remember him this way with another outing for this absolutely brilliant documentary from just before Christmas about British wrestling at its earthiest. There are some hilarious bits in it, like Johnny Kincaid being told he had to pretend he was from Barbados even though he’d never been there, Klondike Kate reminiscing about the fishwives throwing foot-and-mouth-disease injections at her, an interviewee saying “excuse my language” after he’d said the obscene word “bum” and the fantastically good value Max “brother of Shirley” Crabtree, the big kahuna in the “sport” in its imperial phase, explaining how they came up with the concept of Big Daddy after Shirley complained to him that “me whole career’s gone to cock!”. Great stuff.
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