“OH, I MUST say, Princess Diana looks really scrummy in that picture, don’t you think so Nick, really gorgeous.” Main, indeed for a time only, plank in ITV’s half-built semi-bodged creaking edifice of a breakfast television service, responsible for making household names of ANNE “TODAY’S NUMBERS ARE 3, 15, 26…” DIAMOND, NICK “…27, 33 and 45” OWEN, WINCEY “AND SO IS WINCEY WILLIS” WILLIS and a host of other day-glo undesirables. Whole thing almost sank with all hands after a mere two weeks on air thanks to original boss PETER JAY’s demented policy of ultra-earnest mithering, having the weather forecast at 7.52 and 13 seconds precisely, and letting fellow investor DAVID FROST do interviews that went on for five hours. Frostie was one of original “Famous Five” supposedly destined to piss all over rival BREAKFAST TIME business thanks to “sexual chemistry” of ANNA FORD, ANGELA RIPPON, MICHAEL PARKINSON and ROBERT KEE. Only chemistry evident on screen was that of rapidly combusting careers and evaporating viewers. GREG DYKE showed up to save the day, not before JONATHAN “HE LIED AND LIED AND LIED” AITKEN had sacked Anna and Angela (big news) and made Robert quit (nobody noticed). Parky hung about sulking for a year before pissing off. In came Anne, Nick (promoted from sports presenter), Wincey, ROLAND “RUN VT!” RAT, GYLES BRANDRETH, JIMMY GREAVES, CHRIS TARRANT, HENRY KELLY, JAYNE IRVING, MIKE MORRIS, RICHARD KEYS, ULRIKA JONSSON, LORRAINE KELLY and, over in the kids corner, TIMMY MALLETT, TOMMY BOYD and MICHAELA STRACHAN: basically your entire gamut of harmless mid-80s ITV faces who could hold their own on a shit-brown coloured sofa for as long as necessary going on about a) which members of the royal family were in the tabloids today b) the weather c) what happened on telly last night d) where they were going for their holidays e) Gyles’s knitted jumpers. And people watched in their millions. Genuinely ace opening titles had GOOD MORNING BRITAIN spelled out by pigeons in Trafalgar Square, crew of a Royal Navy ship, load of people on the Bristol Downs and so on. Loads of memorable stuff ensued: Rat On The Road, Tarrant going round the resorts, John Stapleton reporting on the Brighton bomb in a call box, industrial action every other week meaning endless repeats of FLIPPER and BATMAN, Anne quitting, Anne coming back, Anne quitting again, the eggcup copyright slide at the end of every programme, Mallett’s Mallet, After Nine, Mad Lizzie, Commander Philpott doing the weather, GORDON HONEYCOMBE doing the news… Party came to an end when Mrs Thatcher decided GMTV would do a better job of things, except she had second thoughts and wrote BRUCE GYNGELL a letter saying how sorry she was. Too late! Fell off the air on New Year’s Eve 1992 with Mike Morris blubbing to the sound of ‘Simply The Best’.
New! From K-Tel!
TVC on Twitter
Creamguide's Pick of the Day
Top of the Pops
Friday, 19.30, 00.00, BBC4
Back to the double headers, we’re pleased to see. We all know Pops now is better than at any point during this repeat run, although one downside has been in the hosts where they’re failed to fill the hole left by our favourite host Kid Jensen. But now they’ve done that in the shape of, er, David Jensen. Back from a year on CNN, Kid is back on Radio 1 and back on the Pops, and he takes to the current format, and the vibrant pop scene, like a duck to water, so it’s a treat to see him again. Sadly someone else from earlier in this repeat run is also back, which means the extended version probably won’t have all the acts in either. But rather that than not at all.
Subscribe to Creamguide!
Points of View
- In 'Creamvote quarter-final #4', Richard16378 says: "Tough choice, but Grandstand just squeezed through, helped by being used on that Vincent Price film about roller coasters that..."
- In 'Creamvote quarter-final #3', Des E says: "Hey! Can’t we vote here or is it all being done on Twitter on this occasion?"
- In 'PICK OF THE DAY', Des E says: "It’s their last *credited* dance. We’ll see them dancing to “Happy Birthday” and “Favourite Shirts (Boy Meets..."
- In 'PICK OF THE DAY', Richard16378 says: "According to the 1981 music documentary The Birdie Song was the last to have Legs & Co. dance to, so the transition to the 1980s format is..."
- In 'Creamvote quarter-final #2', Des E says: "So, unlike last week, we have a clear winner. That it’s DW is no surprise at all. It’s not all that surprising, either, that its..."