CONVOLUTED CRAPOLA cartoonery designed to cash in on top early eighties “quiet” children’s pursuit. Selection of dreary yank kids go on a “magical roller coaster ride” and end up in fantasy (read – dull, cliche-ridden) land of orcs, goblins and “Venger – the force of evil.” Step up “Ranger” (blond twatty leader, real name Hank); “Cavalier” (wanky “coward” bloke, called Eric); “Presto” (comedy nerd magician, name “Magician”); “Bobby” (hateful child with club, aka “Barbarian”); “Acrobat” (or Diane, token black woman) plus miniature unicorn for “I’m going back to save him!” factor. There was another lady, Sheila, who was Bobby’s big sister. She could turn invisible by pulling the hood of her cloak over her head; her handle was “Thief”, Midget Dungeon Master was the gnomic overseer. Five minutes in, all children in the country were registered “outdoors”.Read More
Posts Tagged With 'Bombastic moralising'
JAUNDICED JUGGERNAUT of “It’s The Arts” franchise-fulfilling, regulator-appeasing slurry stirred up by “Presenter/Editor” MELVYN “A TIME TO BONK” BRAGG. Supposed unshakeable totem of ITV-as-a-quality-broadcaster, of course, so why is it always shoved out at the arse end of Sunday night? In-between launching himself off on another pompous, boring, cheap, snidey dig at the “arts”-hating BBC, Melv continues to front one-hour profiles of things of a singularly it’s-on-ITV-this-week or it’s-in-the-cinema-from-Friday bent, occasionally remembering there are people still alive who aren’t stand-up comics turned actors or hoary rockers with a greatest hits package to plug. Sigh. Great theme tune and titles, though, courtesy of Lloyd-Webber’s “Variations” for “cello and rock band”.
SUNDAY EVENING. The 1970s. Tinned peaches with Dream Topping. Battenburg. On the telly, your choice was sedate GEOFFREY “WINNER TAKES ALL” WHEELER fronting SONGS OF PRAISE on BBC1, or this atheist-baiting horrorfest on ITV, with the egregious JESS YATES in charge, introducing guests of the calibre of MOIRA ANDERSON and various harpists to faintly religious effect. Jess got his marching orders in 1974 following tabloid coverage of his relationship with showgirl Moira Kay; various guest presenters took over, Deayton-like, for the rest of the decade including WILFRED PICKLES, ROBERT DOUGALL, CLIFF MICHELMORE and GORDON JACKSON.Read More