Arise, Sir Brucie!
It’s the one bonus we’ve all been waiting for.
SUBLIME SIMPERING nonsense that began as an animated campaign to promote North Sea oil. Titular apparition was created by artist Nick Spargo and leant pipes by KENNETH WILLIAMS, despite the Beeb telling Spargo “it would be wrong to have Williams’s voice just before the news”. Instead Willo became, basically, Kenny, the nosey narrator of life in Doyley Woods wherein dwelt a menagerie of freaks and fancies: Mavis Cruet, hapless fairy; Carwash, learned cat; Arthur, world-weary caterpillar; Evil Edna, monstrous walking TV; the Moog, pig-shaped dog who was thick; and Twit the bird. There was also an ugly prince who kept being turned into a frog and vice versa. And space aliens visited in one episode. Perhaps.
“IT’S A FUNNY old game,” vouchsafed JIMMY GREAVES practically every week on this Saturday lunchtime soccer drone-fest, co-hosted by perpetually corpsing rug-wearer IAN ST JOHN. The “other” joke in Greavsie’s repertoire related to the shortcomings of goalkeepers from “chilly Jocko land”. But worse was to come for Jimmy post “split”: a lame early evening chat show, set in studio recreation of Greavsie’s kitchen, a la Alan Partridge Christmas Special. “If you wanna larf, call at Greavsie’s garf,” advised sub-Chas’n'Dave theme tune, as the once-respected footballer strolled around a market in credits to denote much-vaunted “down to earth” credentials, before indulging in Rotary Club-type breakfast bar chat with the likes of TARBY, LYNCHY et al.Read More
DOZEY BOFFIN with big head is nabbed. Lucky for him his kid runs titular mob staffed with brats called “Big Bill” (SEBASTIAN ABINERI), “Snigger” (LEN JONES), and “Speedy” (ANTHONY PEPLOW).Read More
PRE-STARDOM BURT REYNOLDS uses nosey gossip to track down filth in Santa Luisa, California.Read More
ANOTHER OF those cartoon double-bill “sandwiches” that spread like, indeed, nits during the 1970s (see the ALL-NEW POPEYE SHOW). Sauntering up first came wise-cracking moggy Baggy Pants, who re-enacted old Chaplin routines before giving way to the Nitwits, a decrepid crime-fighting duo Gladys and Tyrone, bizarrely based on characters from Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In. Now safely confined to the arse end of nowhere.Read More
YOU NEEDN’T have bothered. TV rehash of the 1930s spinach eater’s surreal but strangely unlikeable adventures, but without the surrealism. Everyone’s a loser. Standard devices used to wring out every last drop of subject matter – for example, give him three identical miniature kids to look after, without indicating where they’d come from. Also utilised Panther-patented “middle cartoon” format, here introducing (get this) “Private Olive Oyl”, that’s Olive Oyl in the army with typical goon Alice The Goon and strangely-sexy tiny woman sergeant. No Popeye however. Popeye’s middle cartoon was Prehistoric Popeye or some shit like that. Did have amusing opening sequence, involving ‘Eye scooping Bluto (Pluto? Brutus?) up with a JCB, then “boxing” and firing him towards the stars in a big rocket (“well, waddaya know?”). Only other pro was possession of the swirly-star Hanna-Barbera logo at the end.Read More