“LOOK OUT, BULLET!” It’s a Grange Hill Christmas from 1985, featuring the bearded PE patriarch duelling with the dream team of GONCH and HOLLO amid the feverish preparations for the school’s Christmas Fair.

Despite being the episode that ushered in IMELDA DAVIES’s reign of Studio Line terror and sowed the seeds for that ill-advised Harriet The Donkey storyline, it’s not all bad, thanks to the knockabout comedy of Messrs Gardner and Holloway, and some authentic ‘I just want to help you Ro-land’ action from JANET ST CLAIR. And there’s a cameo from Roly’s dad, MIKE “DECEIVERS” SAVAGE.

In fact, practically everyone turns up, including STEWPOT and CLAIRE SCOTT, who must have been in their twenties by then, and even GRIPPER. Plus it was always great when we got to see the pupils in their civvies (Fosters jumpers, Wrangler jeans and Adidas Samba trainers). “Funny!”

Part two is here and part three is here.