Funny how advertising can alter the associations of a song forever. The Stylistics’ You Make Me Feel Brand New, a keening tract of close harmony disco schmaltz from 1974, should by rights conjure up images of the last couple dancing on a rapidly-clearing disco floor at the end of the evening, glitter balls going slowly out of focus, lonely men in polo shirts dejectedly draining the last of their lukewarm pint, and other provincial night out cliches of a certain vintage. Instead it stands for a blonde housewife flapping a white cotton sheet around an overlit bedroom, and a baby drooling mashed banana onto its bib. This misattribution is all the fault of Bio-Tex, ‘the only specialist soaker and pre-washer’, and its long-running ad campaign which famously identified, in the forthright manner of the ancient Greek philosophers, the four basic elements of dirt as blood, sweat, gravy and egg. Precisely what reasoning led to the isolation of this seemigly random quartet we’d have loved to know, but no working was ever shown.
New! From K-Tel!
TVC on Twitter
Creamguide's Pick of the Day
And away we go, preceded by a special celebrity edition of our favourite lottery quiz (not much of an honour, we admit) Who Dares Wins. This is the only bit of the Contest the majority of people really need, although a brief look at the semi-finals suggest that it’s a bit downsized this year with a rather small stage, although we do prefer Eurovision when it’s a bit homely. At three and a half hours, though, it’s surely the longest ever, not helped by the presence of Australia for one year only, while as ever everyone’s already written off our entry but apparently there are loads of ballads this year so it may catch the ear of the continent.
Subscribe to Creamguide!
Points of View
- In 'Zokko', Astronut says: "Score 15. Tramp-o-line."
- In 'James Bond Digital Alarm Watches', Richard16378 says: "At a guess: Salt & Vinegar Cheese & Onion Roast Beef Smokey Bacon"
- In 'James Bond Digital Alarm Watches', Graham Pearson says: "The 1983 incarnation of Smiths Crisps had five different flavours including Ready Salted. Please can you tell me what the..."
- In 'Life and Loves of a She-Devil, The', Barbersmith says: "I recently saw the repeat of this. It really is Christ-awful. Tom Baker does one of the worst drunk scenes ever seen, and the..."
- In 'Paperplay', THX 1139 says: "I was surprised to note when watching an episode of 90s Canadian sketch comedy The Kids in the Hall that Susan Stranks (presumably the same one) was a..."