Big D Nut Displays

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The British public house used to be an establishment of two halves. Turn right as you went in (or was it left?), and you hit the Saloon Bar: a suave, sophisticated, not to mention carpeted, area wherein soft music and plastic pineapples full of ice provided the perfect environment for giggly reps to be bought glasses of Babycham and Calviere by hopeful unemployed-yet-Datsun-owning lads in their best Burlington shirts. On the other side, however, you hit the resolutely all-male, fruit machines-’n’-Capstan-fog of the Public Bar, the chief signifier of which was an A3 card decorated with a topless Page Three Stunner, her ample charms obscured by twenty-odd packets of Big D (the nation’s number two nut, at least). In the days before Sky Sports, it was considered a prime source of entertainment for prannyish young shavers to ask the barman for two packets of nuts and giggle like idiots at the anticipated location of the subsequent comestible removal. Disappointment often came their way along with the bags of ready-salted, but then the Big D card was little more than a high-salt, high-testosterone advent calendar. Albeit one probably not endorsed by the General Synod.

TV CREAM SAYS: PORK SCRATCHINGS, FOR A MERCY, USUALLY WENT FOR A CARTOON BUTCHER ON THE CARD

5 Responses to “Big D Nut Displays”

  1. Local Yokel says:

    ….or a cartoon pig,masquerading as a butcher(stripy apron,straw boater).

  2. Mmmm… Mr Porky! The favourite of every cornershop everywhere, usually to be found with a full supply still as no-one has brought them owning to being as hard as pebbles to eat….

  3. I’ve seen Big D nut advent calendars in Makro. They still have racy ladies on them but for some reason they have their tops on :-/

  4. Richard Davies says:

    I remember in one of the later episodes of Teenage Health Freak Peter Payne & his friends kept buying bags of peanuts to try & see what the pin up on backing card looked like.

    They ran out of money long before anything of interest was revealed, & got the landlord’s nerves as well.

  5. Applemask says:

    Albeit an advent calendar celebrating the birth of tits rather than Christ.

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