A “German folk song” of unknown provenance, familiar to amateur musicians of a certain age through its inexplicably perennial appearance as a demonstration tune on the Casio VL Tone electronic keyboard, alongside the more understandable if no more enjoyable Greensleeves and Old Folks at Home. Its vaguely Teutonic plodding melody (“Lowlander’s Loneliness” is the predictably depressing English title) is hard to describe in print – a cross between the theme from My Music and that old standard If I Were Not in Play School Now, Something Else I’d Like to Be is the nearest we can manage – but was unlikely to have been enhanced by transcription into the tinny, bleepy form through which millions of unwitting knee-high Liberaces came to know and weary of it.

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