Creamguide

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BBC Radio 4The Reunion
Sunday, 11.15, BBC Radio 4

We wish someone would put on the internet the brilliant interview with Stock Aitken and Waterman from Smash Hits in 1990 where they were asked if they were going down the dumper and they bitched about some of the less successful artists they’d worked with like Kakko (“she simply couldn’t sing the songs we gave her”) and Yell (“they did themselves so much damage in interviews they could never have another hit”). We think the biggest problem with the trio was that for every great record they did, and they did do plenty of great records (we’d cite Happening All Over Again, Love In The First Degree, Better The Devil You Know, When You Come Back To Me and You Spin Me Round as our top five), there were about half a dozen crap ones because they spread themselves a bit thinly. Regardless, Sir Pete is still, rightly, very proud of their legacy, as he will debate here alongside Sinitta, Jase and regular Hit Factory collaborator Phil Harding.

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BBC2FA Cup Rewind
Saturday, 09.00, BBC2

These days we’re all used to double and even triple bills of live football most Sundays but back in 1990 the idea of watching two live domestic games in one day was absolutely amazing, let alone those live games being FA Cup semi-finals which before than had never been shown live before (bar the special case of the previous year’s post-Hillsborough match between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest). Then to top it all, the two games turned out to be among the most exciting in the history of the competition, as we’ll see here.

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BBC4How To Make A Number One Record
Friday, 21.00, BBC4

As long as there’s been popular music there’s been hit factories, from the Brill Building and Hitsville USA through Stock Aitken and Waterman and then the Swedish masterminds who seemed to be responsible for all popular music of the noughties. Everyone’s got their theories of how you come up with a surefire hit – Sir Peter Waterman used to say the first rule was putting the melody of the chorus in the intro, while The KLF famously wrote a book guaranteeing it – and here’s what sounds like an entertaining documentary pondering on whether talent, money or plain and simple luck are behind smash hits.

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BBC Radio 2Thirty Years Man and Boy, a Calmer Chameleon
Thursday, 22.00, BBC Radio 2

Even when Boy George was being a total bastard to his bandmates or getting into serious trouble with the law, there was still something about him that meant he retained the public’s overwhelming affection. Certainly he’s always been a hugely entertaining interviewee and we’ll hear that again in this first of two programmes where he talks to his old mate Gary Kemp and, in this one, meets up with Steve Levine again to introduce some never before heard Culture Club material.

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ITVNewzoids
Wednesday, 21.00, ITV

It’s the New Spitting Image! Ignore the fact that in the past decade or so we’ve already had two New Spitting Images in the shape of 2DTV and Headcases, both of which had absolutely no impact, and that exactly the same people – Jon Culshaw on the microphone, Giles Pilbrow producing – are doing this one as well. The big appeal of Spitting Image was never the puppets, though, they were simply the most effective way to deliver the scripts, which were massively irreverent and actually seemed to give a toss about the news, whereas this no doubt will be your bog-standard Rooney-is-thick Miliband-is-a-bit-awkward “satire” and because it’s in the middle of the election campaign totally toothless to boot. Still, they could surprise you.

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BBC2Back In Time For Dinner
Tuesday, 20.00, BBC2

Creamguide’s dad was informing us how much he’s been enjoying this series recently, though we think his interest might be waning a bit as we get to the nineties where we start getting a bit less nostalgic. Still, there’s some fun to be had with a review of the rise and rise of the TV chef, including an outing for the original incarnation of Masterchef, The Grand Prix For British Chefs, as they used to dub it. They should bring that slogan back, actually.

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BBC2Just Good Friends
Monday, 16.45, BBC2

A bit of a break from relentless David Croft with the latest arrival in this slot, which we don’t believe they’ve shown here before. It got plenty of repeats at the time, mind, because it was a giant show in its day, not bad for something that was basically an exercise by John Sullivan to see if he could write something with a female lead character. Wish Paul Nicholas would sing more in it, though. A quick chorus of Reggae Like It Used To Be would have kept us happy.

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BBC1Points of View
Sunday, 16.25, BBC1

Oh balls, it’s back, television’s most infuriating show that’s dedicated to finding solutions to problems that don’t exist. Used to be that around this time the programme would be dominated by complaints about extensive election coverage but actually there doesn’t seem to be all that much this time round, aside from the debates, and it’s easy enough to plot your way through an evening encountering nothing at all on the subject, certainly far away from the eighties and nineties when we used to get hour long Nine O’Clock Newses every night for a month, to everyone’s despair. No doubt the correspondents will find something else to whinge about.

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BBC1Pointless Celebrities
Saturday, 18.55, BBC1

Despite seeming as if this is on every week, this is the first new celebrity edition since January, and it makes up for the fact that the daily episodes have gone back to repeats after just three weeks. They’ve got plenty more to show, and in fact an inmate of TVC Towers was in the audience for this week’s episodes, and they were recorded last May, so there’s no shortage. At least we finally got Goon Films off the board in the final. The celebrity editions usually get billed here not just because they’re great fun but because there’s usually some Cream-related guests, as is the case this week with an Anne and Nick reunion. Also on the programme is Jedward.

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BBC4Biggest Band Break-Ups and Make-Ups
Friday, 21.00, BBC4

There are loads of great stories about bands splitting up, from All Saints arguing over who’d wear a certain jacket on stage to Status Quo telling Alan Lancaster they were splitting and then immediately reforming the second he was out the door, though our favourite has always been Bronski Beat splitting up when Jimmy Somerville took issue with Steve Bronski casually suggesting the SDP were quite good. More stories along those lines in this new documentary.

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BBC4Top of the Pops
Thursday, 19.30, 00.00, BBC4

This repeat run now enters its fifth year, when we didn’t think it would get into a fifth week, and with only one week off for The Sky At Night so far this year and the 1980 documentary making another visit to the top of the BBC4 chart the other week, it looks pretty likely we’ll continue still further. Apart from the three months we’re going to miss in a bit. We’re on a top run of form at the moment too, not much here you won’t have heard in previous weeks but all worth another spin, even Liquid Gold.

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ITVPop Gold
Wednesday, 22.40, ITV

Another rather pointless theme this time in the shape of bands of siblings. No doubt this’ll mean another Oasis clip but the other artists span across all genres including Kool and The Gang and, it says here, Madness, even though we have no idea what siblings they contain. Basically it’s just any excuse to sling clips together, however contrived, and as long as they’re interesting we don’t mind.

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BBC1Eurovison’s Greatest Hits
Good Friday, 21.00, BBC1

Usually the Beeb opt out of all the big Eurovision beanos, probably rightly because while we all enjoy the contest it’s a fact that we come to it from a totally different perspective than the rest of Europe, and there’s nothing to say our approach to it is any less valid than the other one. But the Beeb has taken the lead in producing this special to mark its sixtieth anniversary with a host of stars from throughout its history coming together in London. Brotherhood of Man are our representatives, though we’re promised stuff from across Europe and across the decades, including Bobbysocks, Lordi and Johnny Logan, some of whom may be taking it more seriously than others.

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BBC4Top of the Pops
Thursday, 19.30, 23.55, BBC4

The last two shows, though broadly similar, have both been pretty great we think, despite all the efforts of Liquid Gold, and the rather abrupt ending of Games Without Frontiers on the Wright-helmed show turned out, as the unedited version revealed, to be a shoddy 1980 edit rather than BBC4’s doing. Another good one this week, including all the good stuff from the Travis-helmed show from two weeks before we didn’t get, plus a spectacular Legs routine, and a good early slot for the full show too.

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ITVPop Gold
Wednesday, 22.40, ITV

There’s been some good stuff in these programmes, not least Ike and Tina Turner running onto the set of Pete and Dud’s Goodbye Again and darting through River Deep Mountain High at a hundred miles an hour, while Kate Bush on Razzmatazz was a fascinating clash of styles, Kate’s high concept presentation, enlivened by an enthusiastic Tyne Tees director, offset brilliantly by keeping in Alastair Pirrie’s Noel-esque introduction. The previous guitar-based episode was a bit dull, though, so it seems to work best when the themes are really broad, which is the case this week as it’s odds and sods from the seventies.

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BBC2Back In Time For Dinner
Tuesday, 20.00, BBC2

Packets, packets and more packets this week as we head to the seventies, where convenience was king whether you boiled it in the bag, added water or froze it, so we can look forward to a host of evocative brand names and packaging getting an airing tonight. It’s not all crap, though, because we’re also got the rise and rise of health food and self-sufficiency.

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BBC2Wogan – The Best Of
Monday, 15.00, BBC2

Last week of these, which has at least illustrated that before Tel started phoning it in a bit he was a genuinely good interviewer and Wogan as a show could often come up with the goods, albeit not every night. Sadly it doesn’t look as if his chat with the cast of Pobol Y Cwm is going to make it into this series, but Wednesday’s episode looks the most interesting this week as we’re promised Rik Mayall and Ronnie Barker, the latter perhaps smashing up his Sun award in protest at a crappy story they ran about him.

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GoldPolice Squad
Sunday, 16.45, Gold

We’re pleased to see this series turn up on heavy rotation on this channel because we’ve always been very fond of it. We first saw it via the frequent BBC2 repeats in the early nineties, after the success of The Naked Gun, though you may have caught it earlier depending on where you live because in the eighties, when it had just been shown in the USA, it was picked up by some ITV regions – some even showed it in primetime – while some didn’t screen it at all. We’ve all seen it now, but we’ll happily see it again

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BBC Radio 4The Clocks Go Forward Tonight
Saturday, 10.30, BBC Radio 4

A few years back we received an email from the local Chamber of Commerce reminding us the clocks were going forward, though we really think that if you’re relying on the Chamber to tell you, you probably don’t have the wit to make a success of your business. The title of this show is another reminder, heralding a documentary presented by Stephen Fry on why we do it and if we still should.

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BBC2Mastermind
Friday, 21.00, BBC2

The series of Mastermind almost lasts as long as the football season, this run starting way back in August, so you can’t argue the winner of tonight’s final doesn’t deserve their prize. This is now we think the only time we get to know about the contestants rather than just watch them answer questions, and we’ll find out why they picked subjects including the Falklands War and The Ashes.

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